A lot has been happening since I last posted.
An immensely positive thing was that I have finally approved for GNRH agonists - finally, well over 11 years since I embarked on this journey I will be free of the constant damage that testosterone is doing.
This morning I went to have the pellet injected, to sit under my skin doing it’s work for the next three months. I have an appointment to see the nurse. This was supposed to be a good thing, I was feeling a little scared since the needle is about the biggest thing that’s ever made a hole in my body, including piercings, but filled with anticipation.
Things start to look like they’re not going to plan when I forget to take it with me - the pharmacy gave me the injection kit with the rest of my drugs. Still, getting settled down, and the nurse looks at it, and says that she needs to look at something about it. Eventually she comes back and says that she isn’t qualified to inject the pellet, and it needs to be a GP. The GP is seeing someone, but if I just wait she’ll be right back.
Time passes.
She returns, there is only one GP who can do it, and he’s busy, but it will be fine and I’ll definitely have it today. In the mean time I’ve noticed that my notes are on her screen. There is something near the bottom from my endocrinologist, saying he has seen me and what he’s going to provide. About five weeks later there is a note that says roughly:
Telephone encounter, took message to pass to doctor. Inquiring about hormone therapy regarding her desire to be a female, but we have heard nothing about funding.
I’m sorry, what? My desire to be a female? I already am female, thanks.
The nurse suddenly comes back again and notices me craning forwards to read the screen. She immediately locks it and turns it away from me. Now for the bad news. She can’t do it, and the GP can’t either because he’s too busy seeing patients. So I’m not a patient now? She asks when I can come back … I can’t though, there is this thing called work and life, there was a reason I booked this appointment now. Now she says that the GP only does injections in the last appointment of the evening or morning block, and asks if it’s OK. I tell her it’s not, but what can I do?
The receptionist says I can’t have the morning block because that’s for emergencies only.
I wait in the reception whilst they’re trying to come up with some solution whilst I try to find out if I can have short notice time off work. As I’m sitting there, another employee comes out with some freshly laminated signs that state:
Polite Notice.
Patients are reminded that aggressive behavior and rudeness towards staff will not be tolerated.
There is another paragraph that I can’t see from where I am. She can’t see where to put it, so takes down some other notices to make room for it.
I look at the clock, it’s been half an hour since I sat down, so I approach the counter to ask what’s going on. Another “polite notice” has been placed on the counter directly in front of me. After a brief explanation, another receptionist scowls at me, and says:
Ah, you’re the one who wants the GP and the nurse appointment? They’re trying to sort something out, go and sit back down.
I back away from the advancing receptionist, and sit back down. Feeling very small.
Another ten minutes, and I take the opportunity to approach the counter whilst someone else is there. She explains she’s sorry, but she was waiting to hear back from the nurse, and she hasn’t yet.
Finally, 55 minutes later, and I have an email saying it’s ok to have some time off. I go to the counter and tell them that; I get an appointment for one evening that will mean I have to make up about three hours of work some other time. I explain that I’m considering just doing it myself, what could possibly go wrong? She laughs nervously, and states she’ll pretend she didn’t hear it.
So I walk away, and cry.
Apparently being aggressive will get me censured, but it’s ok for them to be aggressive to me. Again I am being refused treatment to which I’m entitled.
What the fuck, NHS? What the fuck?
